Off The Pink

at 12:22 PM

You all might know Whatever, John Scalzi’s Blog, one of the 800 pound gorillas of the SF blogosphere. It’s the kind of place where just posting a comment will drive your own blog traffic up just from internet backwash. Unpopular it is not.

So presume Mr. Scalzi should take umbrage to an article you’ve written on the internet. Presume further that he takes enough umbrage to post a humorous deconstruction of your fallacious thinking. What would be the proper response?

Post a witty reply thanking Mr. Scalzi for driving traffic to your ramblings.

Comment by leaving a well-reasoned defense of your thesis.

Post a flailing, inarticulate, and sophomoric ejaculation of banal invective attacking Scalzi and those who read his blog as a “bunch of reactionary, misguided Anmericans [sic] blinded by your own bloated idiocy, and love of cake.”

Ben Myersto quote from his self-authored Wikipedia entryto twig onto the fact he’smade an ass of himselfin front of more peoplethan have probablyread his books

at 12:21 PM

My search for a new agent has borne fruit! I have secured the representation of Elanor Wood at the Spectrum Literary Agency. Wohoo! I now get to say I have the same agent as Larry Niven and Robert Heinlein (ok, his estate, but still!) both of whom count (perhaps non-coincidentally) as some of the biggest influences on my development as a writer. (Mack Reynolds and Robert Anton Wilson belong on that list too, which helps to explain my weird politics.)

This means the completion of my first step on the path to world domination. For those interested, here is the overall plan:
Step 1: Secure Literary Representation.
Step 2: ...
Step 3: World Domination.

at 7:09 AM

I posted earlier about how we needed new models for an Intellectual Property economy. On John Scalzi's Whatever Blog there's a thread that goes into the specifics of an existing rental model that seems to work.

I also had some thoughts about the economy of Second-Life and MMORPG's in general, and now I find a N.Y. Times article that reads like early William Gibson. (via Freedom to Tinker.)

at 8:59 AM

I have just been the recipient of the strangest spam I have ever gotten. No Nigerians involved, no performance enhancing drugs and (thank god) no goatse double-penetration felch hentai.

No this spam was obviously a labor of love by a single individual who has absolutely the wrong idea about the publishing industry. (My comments in italics.)

Also, here's a little disclaimer: I do not publish people's personal e-mails to me. Ever. Even if you act like a jackass, anything that's actually directed at me I treat as confidential. However, if you send me spam form letters, you are implicitly saying that you want the whole frigging world to see your message whether they want to or not, and thus I reserve the right to comment, in public.

Re: A Best Seller waiting to be published - Discover the Revolutionary New Way to Heal Yourself!...
From: Writer Seeks Publisher <writer_seeks_publisher@xxxxx>
To:swann_website@sbcglobal.net

[SWANN: First step to not be published, don't put your real name on the query, you don't want those nasty publishers to find out who you really are, do you? Also, be sure to let them know right off the bat that this is a gosh-darned guaranteed bestseller.]

Please only reply to the email links in the text below.

[SWANN: Second step, you don't want technophobic publishers to even consider responding by phone or, golly, snail mail, so let them only e-mail you back. And you can filter out the Luddites among them by making sure they can't just hit "reply" but have to hunt down an address hidden in the body of the e-mail. Yeah, smooth]

FAO Publishers & Literary Agents - I have a fully completed and critiqued non-fiction manuscript together with graphically designed cards available for publishing.

[SWANN: Don't forget to make sure to let them know that what you're querying them about is "available for publishing" this will help differentiate you from all the people querying publishers and agents about stuff that isn't available for publishing. Of course, make sure to never ever go to the trouble if identifying the recipient by name, or even profession- that way they know that this gem is going off to all their competitors and they need to act quick if they want a piece of this bestselling action.]

For more information, please read this email or email me at writer_seeks_publisher@XXXXX to request the synopsis, some sample chapters, the card graphics and the promotional website.

[SWANN: don't forget to remind them to read your e-mail, preferably down in the second or third paragraph. And of course, whenever you mention a website, don't forget to omit the URL. Can't have just anyone looking at your promotional materials.]

[...]

My Critique company commented:

[SWANN: of course, make sure to let them know if you had to pay someone to look at your work.]

This is an amazing manuscript. Many, many readers will benefit from this material. Thank you for writing this manuscript. This will be a huge success! I do wish you luck with this endeavor. However, you will not need luck. You have an awesome manuscript, and a special gift with words.

[SWANN: Always a good idea to include nebulous and vague puffy quotes by people you fail to identify. It lends an air of mystery to your manuscript, an indispensible component of self-help non-fiction. Make sure they call your MS "awesome" at least once, especially if it's self-help non-fiction.]

For more information, please email me at writer_seeks_publisher@XXXXX to request the synopsis, some sample chapters and the promotional website.

[SWANN: Make sure you repeat one paragraph of your query verbatim at the end just to remind the reader of your " special gift with words"]

[SWANN: Of course, it also helps you to avoid publication if you make sure you do not differentiate between authors, editors, and literary agents. It isn't your job to sort out these fine distinctions. Save yourself time by spamming it to anyone, thus giving you more time to concentrate on your awesome unpublished bestseller.]

at 11:04 PM

Writing and trying to hawk Wolfbreed to agents (news coming on that score, stay tuned) has made me more aware of the growing genre of paranormal romance. I'm seeing it everywhere now, and I noticed something on my last trip to Borders. Now, as you'd expect, if the sexy undead werewolf-hunter novel has the word "Romance" on the spine it will be shelved under romance, if it has the word "Fantasy" there instead, it ends up in SF/F. But even if you don't see what's stamped on the spine, I've noticed a certain more significant difference on the covers found between the two sets of shelves. . .

Let's peruse the Fantasy shelf. . .

Now the Romance Shelf. . .

Notice anything?

at 11:57 AM

For anyone who believed that Hollywood is any more interested in free expression of ideas than, say, Microsoft, I want to point out a little story that will probably get a lot less airtime than Angelina Jolie's attempt to ban Fox News from the premiere of a film about the execution of journalist Daniel Pearl.

A projectionist from Memphis was fired under pressure from 20th Century Fox. What did this guy do? What did the guy do that was so evil that it brought down the wrath of an entire movie studio? He posted a bad review of the Fantastic Four sequel. That's it. Now, it was an advance screening review, which generally have folks sign a non-disclosure agreement beforehand. But, according to our intrepid reviewer, he was never asked to sign one. This means that he wasn't obligated to anyone to keep his mouth shut. . . He was fired anyway.

at 8:22 PM

I just got my copy of the anthology where my story "Fealty" appears, 'Places to be, People to Kill.' So it's out, buy it. And while the Klausner review drops my name, it would be nice if some actual people reviewed it on Amazon.

at 7:31 AM

More weird stuff people were searching for when they came across my blog. . .

at 7:14 AM

Ok, I'm playing catchup here, but I just found Mark Helprin's article about Copyright.

John Scalzi has a decent response to all that and others have gone on at length.

But there was a quote from Helprin I had to comment on:

Were you to have ushered through the many gates of taxation a flour mill, travel agency or newspaper, they would not suffer total confiscation.

Once the state has dipped its enormous beak into the stream of your wealth and possessions they are allowed to flow from one generation to the next. Though they may be divided and diminished by inflation, imperfect investment, a proliferation of descendants and the government taking its share, they are not simply expropriated.

That is, unless you own a copyright. Were I tomorrow to write the great American novel (again?), 70 years after my death the rights to it, though taxed at inheritance, would be stripped from my children and grandchildren.Copyright is a government subsidy to the creator. War and PeaceWhen the government takes away a subsidy, it is not taxing you!

at 9:08 PM

Ladies and gentlemen, Wolfbreed is complete! I finished the last scene on Friday, and I've spent the last two days running through the draft, doing tweaks and copy-editing. The second draft is officially done. (OK, if you've followed the blog and my counters it is draft 1.5)

Even better news: I've come a step closer in my search for an agent. I got a positive response to a query, which means I'm sending out a copy of Wolfbreed on Monday. If she likes my writing I think I may have a new agent.

Off The Pink

This is not the blog you're looking for

I have moved, and you can find new entries, comments etc. at www.sandrewswann.com come over and check it out.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

A Case Study in Bloated Idiocy (and love of cake)

Monday, July 02, 2007

Agents Is Win

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Some following up. . .

Sunday, June 24, 2007

And Now: How Not to Get Published

Friday, June 22, 2007

Book (un)Covers

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

If Hollywood Ran the World. . .

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Places to Be, People To Kill

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

The search continues. . .

Thursday, June 07, 2007

More Copyright Insanity

Sunday, June 03, 2007

O frabjous day!

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